I am getting the strangest personal questions lately from people I don’t know or don’t know very well. People ask me if I want to have a child. It’s the strangest thing… and I am a little confused by the negative reaction I’ve gotten from some people recently when I told them we are in the process of having a child (or trying to have one). Do I really come across as so “non-parent” that people would question my choice to procreate? And also, who the hell are you to question my choice in the first place? Unless you’re my “baby daddy” (Gah!… Isn’t that such an awful term?!) you really shouldn’t worry about my choices.
And the other question I’m asked by these people is, “Are you going to get married?” Believe it or not, being married is not a prerequisite to having children. Shocking, but true! Where is the sarcasm font when you need it?
I hate to break it to you, but: We live in the year 2016! A time where same-sex marriage is legal in many countries, including ours. (As it bloody well should be. We should ALL be free to love and marry any darn person we choose!) And women have the right to be educated, to work and earn a wage, and to top it – we’re even allowed to vote!
I certainly don’t feel the need to explain our reasons for wanting/having a child, or telling people whether or not we’ll get married. So why do people continually ask these questions, as though they have every right to know?
Whatever the reason, suffice it to say that some people are thick-skinned and/or don’t have social filters. I also struggle with having a social filter at times (particularly after having a glass of wine, but that happens to the best of us, doesn’t it?), however, there are certain things that I would honestly never say to someone – especially if it’s someone that I am not well-acquainted with. I don’t feel like I should have to defend or explain my choice to have a child, and yet, that’s exactly the position I’ve been put in a few times over the past week. It really is bizarre.
I truly dread the mountains of unsolicited advice/commentary that
will be forced on us we are bound to be given if this is how people are reacting before we’ve even conceived the baby. *sigh*
Header image source.