I know I’ve kept you waiting, but I just haven’t had a moment to sit down and write this post – I’m still busy with semester exams in addition to working full-time. Plus, I wanted a moment to myself to absorb the situation and what it means. It feels very surreal. It’s taken us more than 2 years to get to this point, and now that it’s here, I find I’m having trouble processing it. And putting it on the world wide web means it is real.
When KB and I met, I was on the fence about having kids, but leaning towards not having any. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that I didn’t feel secure in terms of where I was in my life. I was divorced and had also just gotten out of an emotionally abusive and toxic relationship. But as my relationship with KB progressed, I knew that having a child with him was something that I did want. We discussed having kids and whether or not it was something that KB was on board with doing seeing as he had a vasectomy roughly 13 years prior. It was not a decision that we took lightly; eventually we got the ball rolling.
Tomorrow marks exactly a month since Day 1 of my May cycle started – we’ve been doing fertility treatment at Tygerberg Fertility Clinic – which brings us to where we are today. I did a blood test at Pathcare on Sunday morning (10 days after the embryo transfer). Pathcare isn’t open on Sunday’s so I arranged with one of the nurses who would be on duty on Sunday to meet her at the hospital to draw blood. They were very accommodating and it wasn’t a schlep at all.
The results are in
I heard from Dr Thabo Matsaseng later that evening, I thought it would take a day or 2 before we got the results back. He sent me an SMS that night at 8:05pm (how’s that for dedication!). The SMS confirmed that I am pregnant! He signed off the SMS with a Yippee and clapping emojis, so sweet! He asked me to do another pregnancy test on Tuesday, after which I was planning to write this post.
I’m not sure why I’ve hesitated to write it until after we received the second test results back? Maybe a little piece of me is scared that the first one was a false-positive? I still haven’t gotten the second test result back, but I’m sure it’s going to come back saying I’m still pregnant, and I didn’t want to put writing this post off any longer.
I took a few days to try and digest the information – and it’s been difficult to come to terms with it (not in a bad way). It’s taken us so long to get here, and now that we’re here, I almost can’t believe it’s true. KB would tell the whole world that I’m pregnant if he could, but I’m more hesitant. I’m guarding my heart a little more selfishly, because the reality is that we are still in the very early stages of this pregnancy.
I’ve shared the news with my close family and friends (and my team at work who’ve all been along for this ride), though we are keeping it quiet-ish for now. Yes, I know blurting it out on the Internet is the opposite of keeping it quiet-ish, but I feel my blog is less invasive than Facebook. I also didn’t think it was fair on the women who have been following our journey, and commenting and sending messages of support, to keep them in the dark about the positive results. I started to share our journey in the hopes that it gave others going through this hope, and hopefully that is what they’ll feel when they see that we had a positive result.
I know I’ll feel a lot more comfortable when a few more weeks have passed, and look forward to sharing it more openly as time goes by. I am absolutely over the moon though and I feel so blessed to be at this point!